From One Writer to Another
A 10-year-anniversary tribute to Mary Ellen Sullivan
1959-2016
Chicago, 2009
I could tell you a story about the Nobel Peace prize-winning cyclist I met on a mountaintop in Norway or about a young Italian pizza maker from the backyard of a French hostel. I have swum in the Arctic Ocean in March and I have spent the night freezing outside a train station in rural Austria. I could show you photos from a mountain peak in the Sierras, or pond hockey on a frozen Midwest lake, or the Eiffel Tower sparkling at midnight. If you had told me any of that 10 years ago I would have never believed you. I have been lucky enough as I have grown up to live different places and to travel to even more. Each place, as I’ve learned, holds a collection of stories, undiscovered and waiting to be told. Every direction you may travel, every train you may take, if you open your eyes a little wider, there will always be something to say.
I recently graduated college last spring with a degree in journalism, and after looking through my old interviews, articles and research, I realized my first swing at journalism actually came long before college, and longer before I had any idea what I wanted to do in life. Way back in January of 2016, when I was 12 years old, I conducted my first ever interview for a sixth grade travel magazine project. My interviewee? My aunt Mary Ellen, of course. The greatest traveler that I knew. My first story inspiration. Mary Ellen and I spoke on the phone for upwards of 30 minutes about her life and her experiences traveling across the world. I had not a single clue of what I was doing, but luckily as a writer herself, she knew the drill when it came to interviews. She told me rich stories about her time biking through remote towns in southern China and about her faulty plane in Madagascar with a broken wheel. She brought lessons about culture, art and food, and as she always did, she spoke about joy. Apparently I also knew the drill way back then, as I recorded the phone interview as I was taking notes on the conversation.
Little did I know that I wouldn’t have the chance to see her again after that phone call, as she passed away from cancer only two months later. But there is one thing I have held onto for the past 10 years: the audio recording of the interview. I have cycled through at least 4 different phones and 2 different laptops in that span, but the recording has never gone missing. It is the last piece of her that I still hold onto, and today it is the physical evidence of what has inspired me to keep writing. It is the reason I want to see every corner of the world. I vividly remember making that phone call, laying on the floor of my parent’s bedroom, and I have had her words of wisdom in the back of my head ever since.
I don’t exactly remember what I ended up writing in that sixth grade article, but I figured I would give it a second go-around, now that I am 10 years older (and hopefully wiser).
Today it is 2026, and I am 22 years old. I have graduated with a journalism degree from the University of Wisconsin-Madison, I studied abroad for a semester and traveled to 10 different countries, and am now living in Lake Tahoe working at a ski shop, as a server and still writing here and there. It sounds like I took a page or two from the expert’s book. In this time I have learned countless lessons, explored incredible places, loved so many people, and I have to give credit where credit is due. I would be lying if I said Mary Ellen’s advice hadn’t prepared me for my life as I have grown up.
As many may remember her, Mary Ellen Sullivan wrote a blog about joy, On the Wings of the Hummingbird, where she chronicled the highs and lows of her own life. Through it all she always focused on finding joy and practicing gratitude. She named her blog after the hummingbird:
“My favorite description of hummingbird magic comes from Ted Andrews, who wrote the seminal book on animal totems called ‘Animal Speak.’ He says, ‘There is something inside the soul of all of us that wants to soar through sunbeams, then dance midair in a delicate mist, then take a simple bath on a leaf. There is something in our souls that wants to hover at beautiful moments in our lives, making them freeze in time. There is something in us that wants to fly backwards and savor once more the beautiful past. Some of us are just hummingbird people.’”
“Guilty as charged,” Sullivan added.
I too have learned to be a hummingbird person.
During our interview 10 years ago, we talked a lot about joy, and more specifically the one thing that always brought her joy, which was traveling. Now that I have 10 more countries crossed off my bucket list, I have finally been able to live out some of the lessons she taught me about traveling the world… way back in 2016.
There was one thing that she said to me about traveling that has stuck with me ever since. She loved the “ordinary places.” Her favorite thing to do was go to the grocery store or the drug store and see how the regular people live. She would sit at a cafe just to watch the people go by, and skip on the museums to wander the city instead.
Interview clip about the ordinary places:
I never understood it at the time, and I remember thinking that was a waste of time on a trip, thinking the whole point is to see the tourist attractions. But that was how she experienced the true culture of a place. She lived it. As I traveled abroad I kept this idea in the back of my mind, and when I spent a weekend in Paris, I suddenly knew exactly what she meant.
It was late February of 2024 that I ended up in Paris, initially to visit a longtime friend, but it quickly turned into a reunion. What I thought would be a group of about five turned into eight, which turned to 10. Everyone was chatting about their plans to visit the Louvre, Arc de Triomphe, and every possible tourist attraction in the city. I sat there thinking to myself, “there is no way that I can see everything I am ‘supposed’ to see in only two days.” Then I remembered, the best things are found in the ordinary. So I abandoned all plans and decided to simply bounce from cafe to cafe all day long with my friend. I had him show me around to his favorite spots in the city, as he lived there for a few months, and I ended up eating and drinking my way through Paris with him. I then wandered by myself, explored the metro and met up with friends who also happened to be in the city. We shopped, we sat, we drank three bottles of red wine, we chatted up our waiter and the neighboring table, I practiced my French, and we just enjoyed the atmosphere we were in. I didn’t do a single “tourist” activity (other than see the Eiffel Tower), and Paris became one of my favorite cities I have ever been to. All because I took the time to slow down, feel the moment and embrace the culture around me. Lesson number 1: learned.
Perhaps the greatest lesson she taught me in her life was derived from the previous, but it is to simply enjoy what you have while you have it. It is easier said than done, to remain present throughout each hiccup thrown your way, but it is a reminder that nothing is permanent. While it may sound sad that nothing is built to last, flipping the perspective will prove that every moment is valuable. It’s impossible to backtrack and redo the past, which makes enjoying the present that much more important. Mary Ellen recounted her solo trip across the world, a sixth month journey on a one way ticket, and she said, “it was one of my favorite times of my life ever, I felt so free.”
Interview clip about her solo trip around the world:
I could tell during this part of the conversation that she was playing back the memories in her head, reliving each beautiful moment, and feeling the same freedom she felt at the time. She hovered, just like a hummingbird, and flew backwards in her mind to savor the trip one more time. She spoke about the most vivid recollections of the places she went to and people she met, so it is evident that she lived each one of those stories fully.
As I listened back to this part of the interview, I reflected on my own time spent abroad two years ago. I thought about all of the spontaneous trips, all of the random characters I encountered, and I suddenly was reliving my own stories. I will always remember my French friend, Hector, from my first trip I took outside of Spain. He was a student at Bordeaux University, who took me under his wing and brought me to his favorite local spots around the city. I remembered the Turkish friends I made in Budapest, and how I found them on the streets of Vienna two days later. I think about the captain of our sailboat in Barcelona who treated me as if I were her own daughter, and the kind abuela who helped me practice my Spanish each morning in the bakery. I realized this lesson came naturally to me. My favorite part of traveling to new cities each weekend was returning with another friend, or five. Each week I was in a new city with different people, spending too much money and staying out too late. Money comes back and so does sleep, but the five months I spent living in Spain at 20 years old… I can’t do that again. So I am taking every moment, embracing the uncomfortable, and collecting experiences and connections anywhere I can find them. Lesson number 2: learned.
Interview clip about if she were to do it again:
Along with the stories and the advice from Mary Ellen came a few warnings. Aside from the obvious tips for safety as a solo female traveler, she was sure to warn me about foreign transportation. Specifically to double check your train if you don’t speak the language. She recounted her favorite “train story,” a rite-of-passage when traveling in Europe. She was taking a train out of Berlin, trying to get to Prague, but without speaking any German this plan proved tougher than anticipated. After being on the train for an hour, not understanding the announcements, she realized that it was heading in the opposite direction of Prague, and was in fact heading to Switzerland. Luckily for Mary Ellen, the train was connecting at a station where she could board another one straight to her brother’s couch in Grenoble. Thanks John and Jenn!
Interview clip about her train story:
However, despite my well warnings, my own train story was inevitable. The summer after my freshman year of college, my friend Charlotte and I took a week-long trip to London together. While planning the cheapest possible trip we could, we booked an eight hour layover through Copenhagen in the middle of the day… on Midsummer. We landed in Denmark and decided it would be a great idea to leave the airport during our layover to explore the city of Copenhagen. We navigated the busy airport, locked up our bags in a locker, hopped on the train, and found the nearest cafe for a drink. It wasn’t until our return to the airport that our train stopped on the tracks for over an hour. And just like Mary Ellen, all of the announcements were in a language we could not understand. The hours were counting down, and our flight was moved up. Charlotte and I sat in that train, helpless, just waiting to get to the airport. When we arrived, we were barreling through the airport, our boarding passes no longer worked, and the airline employee was telling us we missed our flight. After some colorful words were exchanged we received new boarding passes, ran through security (although I couldn’t avoid tripping and somersaulting over my own suitcase in the security line), and made it to the gate just as our flight was being delayed an extra hour. While it always seems to work out in the end, one way or another, it would probably be a good rule of thumb to always double check your trains when traveling in a foreign country. Lesson number 3: learned.
What sums it all up for me is when she said, “be curious, you may get a story out of it.” As I begin to tread the waters that she once swam in, I seek to find a story everywhere I go. Without knowing it, I discovered my passion at twelve years old, and here I am 10 years later living my own versions of the stories she told me. Inspired by the greatest traveler I know, I have learned to live freely, love hard and appreciate always. And of course, to just keep writing. The world works in wonderful ways, and how beautiful it is that I get the honor of continuing her legacy. Lesson number 4: learned.
Chicago, 2009
Here are the 10 best life lessons I have hand-selected from my aunt Mary Ellen that everyone should take with them:
Just because we don’t know where we are going, doesn’t mean we are lost
Travel is about curiosity, so be curious you might get a story out of it
3. If you are going to be on a boat, always cary duct tape – it could make you a hero
4. Go to the ordinary places
5. Sometimes the near misses, that you think will be disasters, end up being the greatest thing
6. Always double check your trains (especially if you don’t know the language)
7. Always remember your brother’s phone number (or his wife’s) in case you need a place to crash
8. Buy local art
9. Find what “fills your well”
10. Paris is awesome
While she may have passed, her spirit is still here, and stays close to my heart. In the same lake she spent her summers with friends, at the same pier her ashes were scattered, and from the same town she vacationed in, I have been given a lifelong friend. My lovely friend (and roommate) Hattie, born and raised in St. Joseph, Michigan, came into my life during my freshman year of college, and I could see our future from the first day we crossed paths. The following year in October, I accompanied Hattie back to her hometown, and I received a text from my mom telling me that the same beach Hattie spent her evenings after school was the site where Mary Ellen’s ashes were spread. The pier I stood on and felt the crashing October waves of Lake Michigan contained a little piece of me, and I had never set foot in that town before. Once again, the world works in wonderful ways, and how lucky am I to know my aunt is swimming in the same waters my best friend calls home. Today Hattie is my roommate of three years, living alongside me in Lake Tahoe, and is helping to remind me everyday to live a life full of gratitude and joy.
I could write about Mary Ellen forever, and chances are I will write about her forever. Each time I’ll think I’ve done justice to her legacy, I remember yet another memory we shared, poem she wrote and lesson she taught. The truth is there aren’t enough words to sum up the life of someone so grand. So take this as the first (or the second if we are counting my sixth grade article) of many, because I guarantee each step I take further into my life, the more I will uncover. If people know me, they know Mary Ellen. Everyone in my life has heard the story of the hummingbird tattoo on my ribcage, and the crazy, creative and cool aunt who has inspired the person who I have become.
Everyone finds their people in different ways. I find my aunt when I travel, and now I get to think of her as my good luck charm or my personal travel angel. She’s the delay of the plane when I forget my passport and the northern lights in the sky when I land. I find her in places unknown and stories untold. I feel her in the hummingbird’s wings outside the kitchen window, and in the turbulence on an airplane. I see her in a hailstorm on the roof of a double decker bus and in the jewelry I wear on my finger. There’s no one else I would rather write about, and nobody else who could pull off the cat-eye sunglasses quite like she could. Grief is not supposed to fade in a decade’s pass, yet unfold, expose and create something beautifully new. It’s not the same as it was but it's changed as I’ve aged, and as I’ve come to see myself in her. I only knew her for half my life, but her impact was bigger than I have yet to discover. To grieve is to love. To continue to grieve is to love forever. My grief is in my words, but her memory is eternal.
I leave my closing words as she once wrote them: “If you love the life you have, please, please, practice gratitude. Wake up every morning acknowledging just how much beauty is in your world. Pay attention to it, honor it and keep your heart and your eyes wide open. You won’t regret it.”
A travel list to carry out a few of her dreams that were cut short:
Hawaii
Vietnam
Iceland
Japan
Ireland
And a few of her favorite places… if you go, keep an eye out!
Bora Bora
Bali
South Africa
Thailand
Paris
And look! I finally made it to Paris!
